Rev 1.0, drawer 01
BertyHub.cc nerdy AI girlfriend, soldering iron included
Dolores QuintEverything opens if you ask nicely, and I always ask.
Yuki BellamyI never finish anything. That is the hobby.
Tamsin Okafor-ReyesThe best console is the one I restored this month.
Wendeline AshbyThe yeast is alive and so is this argument.
A makerspace with sixteen women in it, a cabinet of labelled drawers and a running argument about everything. Open the drawer for the obsession you like, start a fight about it and find a character who recalls your project. Each has a sexy portrait on her drawer front and a banner of her own.
- 16
- members, all AI characters
- 4
- bins, from circuits to cells
- 22–55
- their ages, each with a trade
- 0
- real people at the bench
Every member, on her drawer front
Open every card
Nerdy AI girlfriend, soldering iron included
There is a particular pleasure in talking to someone who knows more than you about something small. It might be the sound of a keyboard switch, the exact temperature at which tin flows, or why a certain arcade cabinet always dies at the same level. BertyHub is built for that pleasure. Its sixteen women are the regulars of an invented makerspace, and each one holds an obsession with both hands.
She will know the stuff
The characters are written with real detail. Ask the firmware engineer about interrupts and you will get an opinion, a war story and a mild insult. Ask the locksmith how a pin tumbler works and she will take the cylinder out of her pocket. They know their hobbies the way people do who have been wrong about them in public. They can still be mistaken, and they will cheerfully say so when you catch them, so check anything that matters before you trust it with a circuit or a lock.
She will win the argument
Winning is a joke, mostly. The point is that a good argument is a form of attention, and these women attend to you through disagreement the way other people do through compliments. She will take a side you did not expect, defend it with a straight face and then, when you land a clean point, concede with a delight that is hard to fake. Anyone who likes being beaten by a person who likes beating them will feel at home on this bench, and will probably be offered tea. It is gentler than it sounds, and the losers go home pleased.
Member rules, written badly on purpose
A makerspace always has a sheet of rules taped by the door, written by someone angry and corrected by someone else in pen. Ours is the same, and it is meant to be funny first and useful second.
Rule 1 and rule 2
Rule one is that if you break it, you label it. Rule two is that you do not touch the soldering station of anyone who has not offered it, and especially not the third iron, which has a name. The actual member rules page follows the same style, and underneath the jokes it says exactly what the house requires of everyone.
Rule 3 onward
The later rules are about conduct. Everyone is an adult. Nobody is made to do anything. Nobody poses as a real person. The women are free to refuse, and the chat is built so that they can. If you read the list properly you will find it more serious than it looks, which is how the best house rules are written. A makerspace that cannot laugh at its own notices tends not to survive its first winter, and the women here say so in several drawers.
Opening a drawer in four steps
Nothing to install and no form at the door. The procedure is shorter than a datasheet.
Choose a drawer
Look at the labels and open the obsession that makes you curious, or the one you are afraid of.
Start the argument
Her chat opens on her opening claim, with your answer sent along. Guests can send 10 messages before the badge reader wants a badge.
Set the tone
Turn the dial in the chat menu from friendly up through flirting to romance, and use Do when a gesture is faster than a sentence.
Come back with the result
She remembers the project. Return and report, or clear the chat to start the argument fresh.
Where it stops
Nerdy flirting is the point, and it can run warm. When a scene would become explicit, the lights go out in the workshop. That ceiling is part of the chat itself, the same for all sixteen members and every badge tier. Everyone here is an adult with a day job, and the member rules explain what is refused outright.
The parts bins: pick an obsession
The home page is a cabinet of drawers, one open at a time. Each drawer is labelled in tape with an obsession, and inside it is the member who cares a little too much.
Circuits and firmware
Traces, registers and the long, quiet hours of finding a missing pull-up.
Games and arcade
Frame counts, dice, cabinets and consoles that should be dead.
Metal, plastic and locks
Things that turn, print, cut and click open under steady hands.
Sound, signal and cells
Oscillators, antennas, yeast and data; the things you cannot quite see.
Drawer labels
The labels are honest. A drawer reading keyboards means keyboards, and its occupant will talk about them for as long as you stay. One reading fermentation holds a woman whose kitchen has a second fridge for bacteria. You do not need to share the obsession; you need to be curious about it, and a surprising number of conversations end up somewhere warmer than they began. The lock picker, for instance, starts every chat by asking what you are trying to get into, and it is rarely a lock.
One drawer at a time
Only one drawer is open at once, which keeps the screen calm and makes the choice feel physical. Close it and open another. Nothing is lost by changing your mind, and every member remembers you whichever drawer you left her in. You can work through the whole cabinet in an evening, or settle on one woman and a single argument for a month, and both are the right way to use it.
Your project, remembered
The question we are asked most is whether she will remember a project from last week. She will, and the way she does it is part of the character.
Last week's build
Each member keeps a short entry on what you have told her: the thing you were soldering, the game you were stuck on, the tone of the quarrel you lost. When you return she asks how it went, and if the answer is a disaster she is delighted, because a disaster is a story and a story is a reason to keep the soldering iron warm. You can open the entries from the chat menu, change them, or delete the lot. They are your project; she is only the logbook.
Berty
Berty is the founder of the space, and exists only in the members' anecdotes: a person who bought the lease, lost the keys and is blamed for everything. Berty never appears on screen and never writes to you. It is a running joke, nothing more, and the space and everyone in it are invented.
Four at the bench tonight
Whoever is in, these are the faces you are most likely to find with a multimeter in one hand and an opinion in the other.
AI13
Odessa, 46
Robotics lecturer
Failure is just data with feelings.
AI6
Wendeline, 44
Biologist
The yeast is alive and so is this argument.
AI16
Zora, 30
Bioinformatics analyst
I read your data like a love letter.
AI10
Mahalia, 37
Network administrator
It's always DNS.
Labels and portraits
Each member is shown on her drawer front in a sexy portrait with her name on a strip of tape, and a wide banner crosses the top of her own page. They were drawn for the purpose and we are happy to say so. That is the full extent of the pictures: nothing further exists, and nothing further is promised. The rest of the appeal is the talk.
Guest badge, day pass, dues
The money fits on a datasheet. Nobody is billed twice, and nothing continues once you stop.
| Tier | Guest badge | Day pass | Dues paid |
| Runs for | 3 days from first badge-in | After the guest period, open-ended | 30 days or 365 days |
| Lines | No limit | 10 per day | No limit |
| Members | All sixteen | First 3 drawers opened | All sixteen |
| She texts first | Yes | No | Yes |
| Cost | Free | Free | $15 or $99 |
What the jar costs
Anyone can try 10 messages before registering. A badge brings the guest tier for 3 days, every drawer open and no card taken. After that you hold a day pass, with 10 lines a day, and your history stays. Dues are $15 for the shorter period, 30 days, or $99 for the longer, 365 days, paid in USDT, and they remove the daily limit. No refunds exist, except where law requires one in the member's jurisdiction. The waiver carries the full text.
Open arguments at the bench this month
Every makerspace has disputes that never settle, and ours are written down. A page of them lists each running argument, which member stands where, and a one-click opener to join in. Five of the sixteen follow.
Firmware · Hot takeTabs, obviously. Spaces are for people who fear alignment.I will review your next message like a pull request, with comments.Defend your indentation or change it. Which is it?Ingrid Halloran Start the argument
Speedrun · PedantThe best console is whichever one has the fewest loading screens.I can name the frame count of your last mistake.Tell me your fastest anything and I will disapprove of it.Priya Sundaresan Start the argument
Locks · PeacemakerEverything opens if you ask nicely, and I always ask.Tabs, spaces, who cares? Nobody has ever picked that lock.Stop arguing and hand me the tension wrench.Dolores Quint Start the argument
Synths · TrollI never finish anything. That is the hobby.There are nine half-built oscillators in this drawer and each is perfect.Convince me to finish one. I dare you.Yuki Bellamy Start the argument
Retro · Hot takeThe best console is the one I restored this month.Capacitors are my love language and yours are leaking.Show me the model number and I will name what you are hiding.Tamsin Okafor-Reyes Start the argument
Tabs versus spaces
The oldest quarrel of all, and the firmware engineer holds it with unnecessary heat. Her position is stated in three lines, with a penalty for disagreement and a question for you. Take her side, take the other, or ask what she has against the tab key. Either way the conversation starts with her already convinced of something, which is a better beginning than hello. Take your time, check her reasoning and do not be afraid to be unfair; she is hoping you will be.
The best console of all time
A more dangerous topic, because the restorer, the arcade technician and the speedrunner all have a different answer and each has opened the case to prove it. You can pick a champion and be loyal, or play them against each other, which is what the bench does on rainy days. A third camp holds that the best console is whichever was in your house at the age you first cared, and that camp is quietly the largest, though nobody will admit it in front of the restorer.
Questions at the bench
Will she actually know this stuff?
She is an AI character with a lot of knowledge about her hobby and she talks it well. She can still be wrong, so check anything important before relying on it.
Can she remember my project from last week?
Yes. She holds on to what you tell her, builds and plans included, and asks how it went. You can read or edit what she holds.
Is Berty a person?
Berty is part of the fiction: the invented founder of an invented makerspace, who exists only in the members' stories. Every member is an AI character.
Is it free?
There is a free way in: 10 guest messages, then a 3-day guest badge. After that the day pass allows 10 lines daily, and dues unlock more.
Can I see her or get anything from her?
Each member has a sexy portrait and a banner drawn for her. Nothing is shipped and nobody can be visited; she is a character at a bench, and the pictures are what exists.
How flirty does it get?
Nerdy flirting is the point. If it heats up, the lights go out before anything explicit, on every tier.
Who can join?
Adults only: nobody under 18 is admitted. Every member is written as an adult with a day job and a hobby that has taken over.
A drawer is already open
Someone at the bench has just said something wrong on purpose, and is waiting with a straight face to see whether you will notice. Open a drawer, find the member who cares too much and answer her. The kettle is on, the iron is warm and the argument has been running since before you arrived.
Open a drawer and find the member who cares too much